Paul Daniel Hougen

Over the past few days - actually, over the last few weeks - we've had many good visits together, and right along with all the tears, we've been sharing many stories of Paul. While making arrangements for Paul's funeral, John asked Stephanie if he could write Paul's obituary. John carefully crafted this and we think he captured Paul quite well.

Paul Daniel Hougen

With his eyes wide open, Paul Hougen confidently stepped from this life to the next on December 24, 2010. His final gift to his family was the peace and dignity with which he accepted his death.
It was with great sorrow that Paul left Stephanie, his true love. She gifted him with the love and family that was the core of his life. With equal sorrow, he left his girls, Emma and Sarah. They put the never-ending twinkle in his eyes.

The boy who never left for school without a kiss for his mom seamlessly became the father who got daily hugs and kisses from his girls. Paul’s parents, brothers and sisters will never forget the excited call he made announcing Emma’s birth and later Sarah’s; he was so proud to be a Dad.

Paul’s loves are too numerous to mention, but included the Louisville Cardinals, the Vikings, the Minnesota Twins, Ford Mustangs, his motorcycles, and all sports involving balls. His skills at baseball and golf were the envy of many. Never the gourmet, he loved all things Spam. His last full meal was linguini with Spam sauce, made especially for him by his family.

Paul was loved by all his nieces and nephews because in him they found a kindred spirit. The kid in him was never far from the surface. While all the uncles and aunts showed interest in the nieces’ and nephews’ video game, Paul was the only one who would go out and buy one for himself.

Paul had a wickedly quick wit and a gift for spotting life’s absurdities. He had no fear as a friend. He was with his friends when they were hurting with the same ease he was with them when they were celebrating.

Paul Daniel Hougen was born to Jim and Vella Hougen on July 23, 1963. He is survived by his wife Stephanie and their daughters Emma and Sarah, his parents Jim and Vella, and Stephanie’s parents David and Gillian Ley. He is also survived by brothers John (Michelle) Hougen and David Hougen, sisters Jane Hougen, Ardis (Craig) Kraft, and Susan (Marty) Lieberg, nephews Erik Hougen, Luke Kraft, and Ben Lieberg, nieces Meghan (Brandon) Fortman, Rachel (Ryan) Galemore, Krysta Hougen, Carlie Hougen, and Kjerstie Lieberg, and great-nephews Elijah and Caden Galemore, and William Fortman. Paul’s brother Charlie preceded him in death, and seeing Charlie again gave Paul great comfort.

Paul’s service will be held at Our Savior’s Lutheran Church in Larimore at 10:00 a.m., Wednesday, December 29. Visitation at the church one hour before the service. Interment will be at Bellevue Cemetery at a later date. This is a celebration of Paul’s life. Please feel free to dress casually and colorfully.

Funeral arrangements by Bakke Funeral Homes of Larimore, North Dakota.

God bless you so that you may be a blessing to others.

Paul passed away peacefully this afternoon at home with Steph right by his side.

After Paul and Stephanie made the decision to quit treatment and medication, our family all came to accept that this was the best thing for Paul. He was at peace with this decision, and so were we. We were all able to say goodbye to our Paul. He was lucid and aware of our presence, and we all felt blessed to be with him at this time. We made the difficult decision to bring Dad home from the nursing home to say goodbye to Paul. This is difficult because our Dad is not himself, and we knew this would be stressful. However, soon after Dad left Paul this afternoon, Paul called for Steph to come into his room, and he peacefully and quietly passed away. Even at the end, Paul was thinking of his family.

We are still taking all of this in, but we are all blessed by Paul and so lucky to have him in our lives. Decisions will be made in the next couple days about arrangements, but in the meantime please know that your thoughts, prayers, visits, and kindness has buoyed our spirits. Paul knew he was loved, and this helped him go home to Heaven with dignity, peace, and grace. We know that he is with Charlie, his big brother, and that gives us all such comfort to know that they are together. Who knew that Charlie would be helping us through this difficult time?

God bless Paul. God bless Stephanie, Emma, and Sarah. God bless you that you may be a blessing to others.



Merry Christmas, all.

Tough Decesions

Paul and Stephanie made some tough decicions while he was in the hospital earlier this week. They decided to end the chemo treatments. They shared the decision with the family yesterday, and it has been a tough time.

The cancer and chemo have taken a huge toll on Paul. His body is weak and tired, and this suffering is no what we want for Paul. He has quit taking all of his other medications except the morphine, which still - thankfully - is giving him pain relief.

We are making the most of our time together. Paul is very weak, but tolerates our company for brief spurts. Yesterday we were able to do some storytelling, read some Bible verses (at Paul's request), laugh a little, and cry quite a bit.

Mom's prayer, "God bless you so that you may be a blessing to others" is not a static prayer. We have been on the receiving end of so much kindness over the past few weeks... God has surely blessed us with everyone's support, visits, kind words, and thoughts.

We love Paul Daniel, and know that so many do. He has been a blessing to us, and this is what makes it so hard. He shared with Stephanie as they made this decision, "I'm ready to see Charlie." Since the decision has been made, Steph says he is so much more calm. He is at peace, and we are trying to be at peace, as we know he will be taken care of so well.

Breathing Treatments and Heparin Shots

Paul Daniel is still serving time in the hospital. He is getting breathing treatments and Stephanie is now getting trained on how to give Paul heparin shots. Evidently Paul does have several blood clots - they don't know if they have moved up, but said the treatment would be the same regardless.

We are thankful for many things - Steph has been amazing, and she continues to learn new things. We are thankful Steph's parents can be here now as well. Dave and Gillian are two wonderful people -Paul, Steph, Emma, and Sarah are happy they are here!

Steph hopes that Paul is headed home tomorrow - as we all do. Hopefully he is good and rested up for Christmas. We'll get this hospitalization business behind us and dive right in to a special Christmas together. Uncle David has been baking up a storm. I'm hoping Steph can make those wonderful caramel-shortbread sinful delights. Marty made venison sausage to add to John's gumbo, and he's starting jerky fixings tonight per Krysta's standing order for Christmas venison jerky. Oh, yes, - and lefse. There's a saying that it's not what's on the table but who's around it - but we are kind of interested in both...

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Vikings and Hospitals

Maybe Paul knew what he was doing. Last night he was having difficulties breathing, so he was ambulanced to Grand Forks. They have things under control now, but it may have been fortuitous that Paul was in a comfy hospital bed while the Vikings are trying to slug it out with the Chicago Bears in the freezing drizzle. The Vikes claimed the first touchdown, but after that... well, it wasn't a total blowout, but it would have been nice to end the season with a victory!

Anyway, Paul is in good care, and if weren't for the weather around Grand Forks, he may have come home today. Doctors felt it best to keep him just in case. We feel good that Steph has her parents in Larimore now - the more the merrier, and how good it is to have that extra support when determining what to do. There are many decisions to be made!

Hopefully, that's the only episode this week, and we have healthy appetites and hearty visits at Christmas!

Chemo Tired

It's been nearly a week since Paul's second chemo treatment, and he is getting reacquainted withe the classic chemo side-effects. His number one side-effect is his tiredness. The chemo has a way of sucking out all of his energy. He's had some queasy spells as well, and his appetite just isn't there. In addition to her nursing duties, Steph is also taking on the dietitian role. Her patient can be a bit unruly and stubborn at times, but she continues to push the food - even if it's a tiny bit at a time.

Being able to drain his abdomen at home through the port they installed during his hospital stay has been good. Steph has become quite adept at it, and it gives Paul more "room" to eat.

Steph's parents arrived safely from England. They are reacquainting themselves with Larimore and are adjusting to the brisk North Dakota winter! We are all excited to have them here!

Emma and Sarah have been looked after well by the school and community. This weekend they were part of the "Socks for Kids" program, a local Christmas charity. While they are a little overwhelmed at times, they certainly appreciate all the kindness as well.

The "usual suspects" will converge on Larimore for Christmas. We are all looking forward to being together, especially with Steph's parents able to celebrate with us. For those who don't know, Paul is the second youngest of the seven Hougen kids. John and his wife Michelle - who live in Bismarck -will be in town, along with their kids Erik who is living in New York City, Krysta who is living in Washington, D.C., and Carlie who is going to school in Chicago. Jane lives in Bismarck and will be home as well. David lives in Larimore. Susie (me) and husband Marty and Ben and Kjerstie live in Greenbush and will be in Larimore as well. We always have a great time together - Emma, Sarah, Ben, and Kjerstie especially like it when the "big cousins" come home!

We will have the Christmas Steph has decreed: "A fun-filled, family-filled Christmas!"

Spam Linguine and Chemo

So, brother John decided to mark Paul's second chemo with a new culinary treat (?): Spam linguine. Those who know Paul know of his love of this canned delight. According to John, it was a tasty meal and even Steph conceded to the allure of Spam in fine food.

Yesterday was Paul's second chemo treatment. Emma and Sarah played hooky from school and went to the cancer treatment center at Altru with Uncle John to see how everyone was treating their Dad. They saw the room Paul receives the chemo in, met the nurses, and were even able to be there when the doctor came in to check on Paul. In between visits with their Dad, Uncle John took them out to see Grandpa in the nursing home and a good meal at the Blue Moose.

Steph, Paul, and the girls are all looking forward to tomorrow: the British are Coming! Steph's parents will fly in tomorrow night. We are all excited to see them!

Thanks for your continued support and prayers. Mom's prayer continues to be the best: God bless you so that you may be a blessing to others...

Round Two

After a week-long hospital stay, we are happy to report that Paul has regained some strength, has boosted his appetite, has found a pain-killer that works more efficiently, and has unearthed his sense of humor again. Although he wasn't able to go to the Benefit Friday night, he is well aware and very humbled by everyone's support.

Tomorrow is round two of chemotherapy. This is the dose that was delayed due to his hospital stay. So, we are well aware that the chemo might knock him down again; we are still thankful for the benefits of the hospital stay and perhaps more aware and ready to act when the chemo side-effects emerge. Steph has been a trooper, an extraordinary student of cancer and chemo, and continues to be an employee, a wife, and a mother. She has trumped any multi-tasking feats previously held!

Brother John is coming up from Bismarck tonight to spend time with the family, and he will go with Paul in for chemo Tuesday. Steph has been working with the support staff at Altru and thought it may be good for the girls to see where their Dad is getting treatments. So that is the plan for Tuesday.

Again, continued thanks for your support.

P.S. The new look of the blog is because nephew Ben thought the other one didn't really "look" like Uncle Paul. Hence the BMW motorcycle - one of Paul's favorite toys.

Many Thanks...

Thank you. We want to say so much more, but we don't know how.

We just returned from Paul's benefit at Good Friend's. We were overwhelmed with all the support from friends and family. It was heartwarming to visit with everyone. Every time we turned around, there was a new group of people coming in with good wishes for Paul, Steph, and the whole family.

Many helped out, but we need to extend special thanks to Terry Trosen and his whole family for organizing and serving the supper. Special thanks to Karen and Ryan Knutson for setting up and organizing the silent auction and making things look so nice. Thanks to all who donated items for the silent auction as well. Thank you for coming out on a busy Friday night during the holiday season to support Paul and his family.

Despite these tough times, we are overwhelmed with all the good deeds and kind acts people have done since we found out about Paul's diagnosis. Our hearts are full.

Paul was not able to attend the event - best to keep him as isolated as possible from all the winter cold and flu bugs. However, Paul is well aware of all the support.

Many, many, thanks.

Home on Thursday!

Paul is scheduled to go home on Thursday!

The week-long hospital stay turns out to be "just what the doctor ordered." Paul got a chance to rest up.

His abdomen pain was addressed and he received pain management that was effective. Morphine works best for him and he will be going home with a form of morphine as well.

The hospital bed relieved his aching back and bedsores. The doctor wrote a scrip for a hospital bed at home too, and they are working out a delivery date for his new bed.

His fluid build-up was drained, and they have now installed another port so he can have his abdomen fluid drained at home. Steph is learning the skill of "tapping" - she's thinking pretty maple trees in Vermont. Hopefully this will not only help his discomfort but also increase his appetite.

He received much needed hydration.

He's eating good protein and lots of it.

Home health is also being pursued, which would be good for Paul and will relieve Steph's mind as well to know someone is "checking" up on him.

As Steph has reported, Paul's acerbic wit, sarcasm, and dry humor have all returned in proper, full force. So, Paul is back.

As Steph also reported, he's been getting a dose of laugher as the best medicine as well. Anyone have any dirty jokes? I'm sure Paul (and his twisted friends and siblings) would appreciate anything tacky and tasteless.

The hospital stay relieved both Paul and Steph's mind - it's good t know he was in good hands, and it also allowed Steph to get some proper sleep. Now that his pain issue has been addressed and he's built up some strength, she'll hopefully be able to keep resting.

The benefit is Friday night. All of us appreciate this. Thank you so much for all the support and help. Never underestimate the power of a good deed or a kind word.

Resting...

We were happy to find out the CAT scan did not reveal any need for surgery. That was the concern Friday and Saturday, as a possible explanation for the pain was the tumor in Paul's abdomen was obstructing his bowel.

Why he's experiencing the pain isn't fully explained, but it is a relief he does not need surgery and while in the hospital, he's been hooked up to morphine which is taking care of the pain without any side effects. He's also on a very comfortable air bed which he appreciates!

They also gave him a shot of heparin, as his right ankle is swollen and a blood clot is a potential cause of that.

Paul has received more attention than he may want at the hospital, however - he is more comfortable than he has been in a few days, and Steph and all can rest a little easier knowing he's being monitored (every hour all night long!)

Steph camped out at the hospital Friday night, but she did go to Larimore Saturday night for a good rest. We are thankful that the hospital is not far away!

Paul will have another x-ray today of his chest area to check out an air pocket outside his lung. They speculated that when his right lung was drained air somehow got in before the drainage site closed.

His second round of chemo was to begin Monday, but it has been delayed one week in order to take care of the pain issue.

Thank you for your continued support. There have been many Christmas elves busily helping out Paul, Steph, Emma, and Sarah - working on the back room, moving out the snow from the driveway, meals, cards, phone calls, and texts. Mom appreciates the cards and visits as well - she will always be happy to brew a pot of coffee and David has been keeping her supplied with cookies and brownies to share! Many, many thanks.

Hospital Run

Steph was concerned about Paul's increasing pain and cramping this afternoon, so she brought him into Altru. They admitted him and are running a cat scan this evening to see if they can determine the cause of this new pain.

They did give him morphine to help quell the pain. As Dad has a history of not mixing well with morphine, they are keeping a close eye on Paul.

We hope to know more soon. Although a hospital run is not ideal, both Paul and Steph feel reassured that they are under the close care of doctors and his pain can be managed more directly.

Hooray! The British are coming!

A bright spot in the week is news that Stephanie's parents will be flying into the States on December 16. Paul, Steph, Emma, and Sarah are so very excited to have them here, and especially excited to have them here for Christmas. The rest of us are excited too. Steph's parents are wonderful people, and we are so happy for Steph.

Paul had a couple days this week with an increased appetite, but we are wondering if he picked up a flu bug, as yesterday his stomach was cramping and his appetite vanished. We were hoping he could pack in as many calories as possible this week in preparation for his second chemo treatment on Monday.

Next week is Paul's benefit at Good Friend's in Larimore. We continue to be grateful for all the support!